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Faina Bona lights up the National Library with a more-than-competent photographer in Latvia. Every week, I get contacted by someone somewhere asking if they can be paid to do my job. The answer is always yes--as long as they can find women like Faina to shoot. Contributors must also agree that to be called a pervert is hardly an insult.
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You wanna bring peace to Europe, but can you bring peace to your life? Can you put down your phone long enough to play outside with your children for an hour? Can you cancel the business trip to Costa Rica and stay home with your family instead? Do you have the internal strength to resist Armando, your secret lover, and his warm embrace? The wife knows. She must know. Liberate yourself from the slave chains of deceit and suck Truth's dick like tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Stella Barry is stunning. Thanks, Anthony. But maybe next time cool it with the playgrounds.
Meadow Brink is a mystery, inside a puzzle, filled with paradox, surrounded by a maze. I don't get her and probably never will. But sometimes we get along long enough to make really cool shit. She's my Eastman. And I'm her Laird. Or at least that is how it felt on this spring morning in Pensacola. Hope this finds her doing well.
Guys, I feel that I have misled you in some way and I am tired of carrying around all this guilt. I must make a shocking confession. I am trans. I was born a female. I wore dresses, played with dolls, tortured kittens, you know, everything that little girls normally do. But something never felt right. I began getting interested in trucks and math and even started fantasizing about my teenage babysitter, Jessica. I wanted to do everything that boys did, I wanted to eventually pleasure women in the ways only men could--the dick, the balls, the large bank account. I needed it all. So after third grade, I made the leap. I started taking hormone blockers and surgically transitioned to becoming a man. I have to say, it was the best decision that I ever made as a child. God bless Portland and Patsy Ford.
If my memory serves me correctly, but usually it does not, Cindy White had an ultra-Christian upbringing. Her father grew up in Montana. As a boy, he idolized his favorite Sunday preacher for delivering the most powerful and heartfelt sermons. Jacob began to think that his future also lied in clergy. But God had other plans. A summer job at a local car dealership developed into a short career as the slimiest salesman you could ever meet. Jacob ended up impregnating the dealership's receptionist, who was already unhappily married to her alcoholic and closeted high school sweetheart, and the two decided to start a new life together in Bakersfield. They bore an attractive daughter and subjected her to extreme sexual repression post-puberty. This of course had the opposite desired effect and Cindy's curious nature erupted the moment she was able to hitchhike her way to Los Angeles. However, religion proved a hard habit to kick and Cindy was compelled to find herself a church, as luck would have it, the very same one located around the corner from my go-to dispensary. I can spot a gem hiding in any congregation. Stay ready.
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WARNING! The man in the header photo of this update is a bonafide killer, as in buzz-killer. I assume he is the manager of this particular Publix supermarket, although we were not shown any official credentials. Guy walked right up to us and rudely asked us to leave the store. This injustice must not go unheard. Sasha was merely exercising her rights to free speech and sexual empowerment. Men like him want to silence the women's movement. Maybe he would like to see Sasha in a burka? Disgusting. Sponsored by Sprouts.
Even though science, my wife's advice, and personal experience has taught me to avoid refined sugar and food coloring, I doubt that I have consumed my last Eegee's frozen fruit drink. They are a source of nostalgia. When I moved to Tucson for college, it was the first thing that alleviated me from the desert heat. The U of A handed out large complimentary samples at their new student orientation and I immediately became a fan. Same thing for Brandy Gila, her chill vibes are addictive.
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Guys, I need help. I am summoned to appear for jury duty tomorrow. As much as I want to bear witness to the tragic comedy of our criminal justice system, I have better things to do. For instance, I could possibly add a bonus video to this eleventh update of Regan Budimir. It goes without saying, I enjoy her. A lot. If anyone can offer tips on how to evade my civic duties, please post in the comments. I have already told them that I believe people should be considered innocent until proven guilty and that we all need the ability to speak truth to power, so I imagine that will disqualify me immediately. Wish me luck.
"Here's a little potpourri of skin and beauty from our contributor in Moscow. These photos of Ira Sedina were captured in a stealthy way with a smaller 'snapshot-style' camera for good reason. I was told, but can not remember the exact story which came with this content. Something about an angry employee at the aquarium, inappropriate attire, blah blah blah. All I know is that Ira is always a friend to the camera. At the end of the gallery, she sent me a few photos from her phone while she recovered from an 'accident'. I think she just got a nose job, but whatever. I am happy to see Ira back. Sol meme degens check out $VHS (CA: 5e41GfrQwTP74LgGt6WP9kw6xa1jQhAERCjnFKf74y52)"
I photographed Marie Boitte on a windy day in San Francisco. She is a transplant from France. Supposedly Mark Twain wrote this about the city, The coldest winter I ever saw was the summer I spent in San Francisco. I mostly associate the Bay Area with non-existent parking spaces and the faint stench of human fecal matter wafting through the air. Bon appetit.
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When you ask a woman if she is hungry and she says, a little, then you better get some food quick! The answer is never a simple, yes. It is usually something like, mother fucker why didn't you get me food when I said I was hungry?, referring to when she said a little. More of my profound insight and more of the extra-tasty Vonnie Bean to come. Shout-out to Bianchi's in Tucson. Bye Bye.
Viky, our contributor from Colombia, is back. This time she took her friend, Karoll Bolivar, to the beach for some of that South American December sunshine. Today it is over 30C at this beach, which is over 80F for my American friends. Or maybe I am spreading misinformation. And what is misinformation? I thought it was all just information. I thought it was every individual's preference to accept information, from a variety of sources, and to parse the truth out on their own. Shouldn't the truth be able to stand up to all verifiably false claims? You don't owe anyone an apology, Joe.
It is nice that some people go to college and devote their energy towards building respectable careers. Some of which include insurance broker, government program manager, linguist, and commercial real estate agent. Then there are people like me, who come to your city and hire open-minded young women to be photographed for their smutty website. Hey, at least I made it through Sober October. Chapel Hill was nice. Fawn Richfield was nicer.
Happy Fathers Day, you domesticated savages. I hope this update of Misty Lovelace makes you realize that our time in this dimension is limited. Essentially, I am writing this to nobody. Let's face it, we are all dead people walking our dead dogs, admiring the dead trees. Your countdown has begun. One subtracted from the finite number of breaths that your lungs will ever breath. Another. Get moving. You're not as flexible as you used to be.
Back with a sudsy encore and a 5-minute bonus video. I have heard it said that the simple viewing of naked voluptuous women can add years to the human male's life expectancy. In that case, we must thank Samadhi Amour and her friend, Alina, for contributing this update to Zishy. I look forward to growing old with all of you. Have a great day.
Here is part two of my time with the delectable Rune Kimele. If she is half as sweet as she looks, then she could give us all a mouthful of cavities. But seriously, Rune set the bar high for any Latvian girl that I will photograph in the future. Yes, she was the first I ever shot in Riga. Yes, even before Helene Trobec and Slava Konevs. No, I do not publish everything chronologically to Zishy. That would make too much sense for me. Enjoy your day.
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"Introducing Jacie Verbena. I like her. She seems like she has a good time being photographed. Kudos to our contributor in Ukraine. Does your government ask your permission before sending its citizens to kill or die? Doubt it. War is dumb. Part 2 tomorrow."
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I photographed Hannah Tarley right after my exile from Los Angeles. She is from Central Texas and was friends with someone that I had shot two months prior. Hannah warned me that she was rather shy and had never modeled before. I explained that I am not interested in photographing professional models, I want to photograph real women. If they happen to have some professional modeling experience, that is only a coincidence.
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Gaby Mueller has crazy acrobatic skills. She busted out these moves without much of a warm-up and being long out of practice. I never thought I would also be in the superhero game, but here I am. BTW, I just tested positive for being teased out of my mind by Gaby.
When I was a young buck, I used to have a respectable p0rn collection on my hard drive. One of my favorite videos was of a performer that went by the name Paisley Adams. In this video, she asked to get spanked harder and harder as her male counterpart obliged. Eventually, the pain got to a level where Paisley could no longer put up her tough girl front and had to break the fourth wall. I recall a very real OWWW! I appreciate strange subtle details like that. Please hit me up if you have this video. Anyways, here's a different Paisley for you. Night-night.
Chael Sonnen says that being a professional team sports fan is like being a fan of laundry. Because there is no loyalty among the athletes. They go wherever the biggest paycheck takes them. So why would you want to wear another grown man's uniform on your back? You should be the hero of your own story. Yeah, I like Chael. He is a salty dog just like me. As for Presley Callen, she can wear whatever the hell she wants. She always looks amazing. I would even buy it if she told me Pence was her boyfriend. Stay wicked.
If your Twitter feed looks anything like mine, you will know exactly who contestant 12 is when you subscribe and see her unmasked. She is stuck somewhere in L.A. Funny how I never miss being in that city when something like COVID-19 goes down. She used the front camera on her iPhone 11 Pro Max Super Ultra XXXL.
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This was the first time I had ever visited the Domain. It is a splendid area in Austin that has been developed for upscale shopping, fine dining, and resort-style living. I have yet to witness homelessness there, but I'm sure it's coming soon. Before long, you will be able to step over used needles and an unwashed person while you are on your way to buy butter croissants at Whole Foods. More Vicky Chandler to come. Cheerio.
Once upon a time, In a land far away, before Covid, before BLM, before Australia and Brazil burned, before the rampant homelessness, before MeToo, even before the entire fake news presidency, I photographed a woman many of you know as Jazz Reilly. She has come a long way. Early 2020 on social media, I saw that Jazz was expecting and that she still lived in Vegas. To my pleasant surprise, she was open to a return shoot. So here she is. Back with budding maternal curves, the immortal Jazz. Congrats on the healthy baby boy!
Howdy! Here's a 10 minute long video digest featuring footage from the last three photo updates. I might make a habit of doing videos this way. Let me know what you think. Have a great weekend and don't go rubbing your crotch on a cheese grater. That would hurt. xoxo
This is the first time that I hire a female contributor to take two models out for photos. If you recall, we met Rosa and Zaheera last year in their own solo updates. The real life friends gave Zishy a try on a whim and despite what you may think are almost twenty years old--each, not combined! The photographer that shot them solo, Dan, was eviscerated in a freak hot tub accident, so I had Viky travel to their city to continue the magic. More of these Colombian beauties planned.
Someone persistent has been requesting more Korinne Peterjik for the past few months. I totally understand their fascination. Her natural beauty and enthusiasm is palpable. The air in her dorm room felt thick with it. I created a job for myself that justifies visiting a college campus to take nakey photos of lovely young women. Certainly, I am swine, but I am of a genius breed of swine. Or maybe this is all part of Father's Plan.
I photographed Hopeless SoFrantic in Los Angeles. She is a nice person and really easy to get along with. She loves animals and is a vegan. As sweet as she is though, she is a living organism and will have to eat other living organisms in order to survive on this planet. That's just how the rules are written. Hopeless says she inherited her large natural breasts and light frame from her mother, who also did some modeling in her youth. Our future looks Hopeless.
Olivia Yukon's updates are sponsored by me, Zach Venice. I discovered her years ago on social media and knew right away that she is special. It took months of patient correspondence to convince Olivia that I am a kind and respectful human being, and that I do in fact take pervy pictures seriously. In person, I was surprised by Olivia's goofier side. She isn't quick to react to most of my humor, but I don't take this personally. Ever so often, Olivia lets her Russian emotional shields down and cracks a smile. Probably reluctantly.
Is it me or have you noticed that only nutty people make claims that they have been gaslighted? Beware of anyone making such accusations. Here is Chaney Gunn taking me on a hike at dusk near her home in Texas. There was not much available light, but I discovered that not much light is needed to show the undeniable beauty of Chaney. The glasses and red lumberjack pattern remind me of Terry Richardson. Come back, Terry
Autumn weather is nutty in LA. You could have a warm, sunny, buns-out afternoon at the beach turn into a cloudy, nippy evening within minutes. Isabella Herzog is the right type of woman for this occasion. She is all smiles in most conditions. The only time she grew concerned was when I asked if I could pay her with a Degenerate Ape NFT. Some people still want that dirty fiat. Oh wellz. Hodl.

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